Nicholas Balsamo

Eternal bow to anyone who shows up here. Thanks for your curiosity. I have to lead with how much I absolutely love life — all of it: its challenge, its grandeur, its pain, its beauty. But I didn't always have that perspective.

Most of my life I was unable to maintain a position of neutrality and lacked the capacity to deal with life on life's terms. I was always caught in some level of internal and external suffering. Eventually it became too much for me to handle. I was fearful and incapable, and found myself coping in extreme ways — turning to substances, fear-based and limiting patterns, self-centeredness, and small-mindedness.

I was able to manage for a while, or so I thought, but inner and outer difficulties continued to overwhelm me. Finding myself in the dirt, at the bitter end, I had to admit defeat and become willing to embark on a journey to liberate myself from this deeper suffering. I had tried everything else and I didn't want to die — so I made a beginning by surrendering my way of doing things and engaging with myself in a way I had been previously resisting.

With a lot of help, I have now amassed over ten years of devoted, disciplined, dedicated recovery and psycho-spiritual practice. A byproduct of that freedom and awakening has been a strong impulse to serve. I naturally began to sponsor men in 12-step programs, walking the path of liberation with them, and found a position of mentor and guide — offering new ways of Being and liberating practices to others well beyond the recovery sphere.

While on this mission I practice, practice, practice. I let go. I accept. I wear life like a loose garment and strive to be a principled, wise fool — to embody the qualities of God, to be child-like, and to be a healthy human and brother to everyone in this wild life. Most of what I know, I know because I've lived it.